Warning Signs of Abusive Relationships
You may be in an abusive relationship if he or she:
- Is jealous or possessive toward you.
(Jealousy is the primary symptom of abusive relationships; it is also a core component of Sexual Addictions and Love Addiction.)
- Tries to control you by being very bossy or demanding.
- Tries to isolate you by demanding you cut off social contacts and friendships.
- Is violent and / or loses his or her temper quickly.
- Pressures you sexually, demands sexual activities you are not comfortable with.
- Claims you are responsible for his or her emotional state. (This is a core diagnostic criteria for Codependency.)
- Blames you when he or she mistreats you.
- Has a history of bad relationships.
- Your family and friends have warned you about the person or told you that they are concerned for your safety or emotional well being.
- You frequently worry about how he or she will react to things you say or do.
- Makes “jokes” that shame, humiliate, demean or embarrass you, weather privately or around family and friends.
- Your partner grew up witnessing an abusive parental relationship, and/or was abused as a child.
- Your partner “rages” when they feel hurt, shame, fear or loss of control.
- Both parties in abusive relationships may develop or progress in drug or alcohol dependence in a (dysfunctional) attempt to cope with the pain.
- You leave and then return to your partner repeatedly, against the advice of your friends, family and loved ones.
- You have trouble ending the relationship, even though you know inside it’s the right thing to do.
Does the person you love…
- constantly keep track of your time?
- act jealous and possessive?
- accuse you of being unfaithful or flirting?
- discourage your relationships with friends and family?
- prevent or discourage you from working, interacting with friends or attending school?
- constantly criticize or belittle you?
- control all finances and force you to account for what you spend? (Reasonable cooperative budgeting excepted.)
- humiliate you in front of others? (Including “jokes” at your expense.)
- destroy or take your personal property or sentimental items?
- have affairs?
- threaten to hurt you, your children or pets? Threaten to use a weapon?
- push, hit, slap, punch, kick, or bite you or your children?
- force you to have sex against your will, or demand sexual acts you are uncomfortable with?